Mom had sex with Colonel Klink

All right, my mom never had sex with Colonel Klink -- but she did have a summer-stock affair with actor Werner Klemperer back in the late 1940s. Klemperer went on to play Colonel Klink on HOGAN'S HEROES - the 1960's television show set in a Nazi-run POW camp. My mom did not watch the show - she was offended by the whole idea of making light of Nazism. However, I loved telling neighborhood kids that my mom "dated" Colonel Klink; and also telling them that she "dated" Jack Klugman, Oscar on THE ODD COUPLE. She also "dated" Jerry Orbach - but I didn't know who he was at the time I was bragging to my pre-pubescent pals about my Mom's sexual conquests back in the day.

This little tidbit of arcane family lore is offered up primarily to show that I did not come from an average family. My parents were a good deal older that most of my friend's parents. When I was born my Mom was 38 and my Dad was 44.

My Mom grew up in a Methodist Democrat family in Texas during the depression; and when she turned nineteen she moved to New York to become an actress. This was 1943. She spent the next fourteen years in the theatre (mostly stage managing and sometimes directing) and working in film and photography. She also spent seven years in psychoanalysis. She met my Dad in 1946 or 47 while they were both working on the Henry Wallace Caravans. They were in a relationship for about a year. They broke-up because my Mom wasn't ready to get married, and my Dad was. They didn't see each other for ten years. In 1958 my Mom felt she was ready to get married, she called up my Dad and asked if he was still interested, and they were married. I was born four years later.

My parents were very unusual. They were deeply political, deeply spiritual (though not terribly religious) and both were very well-read. My Dad only graduated from high school; he hated structured education. He was quite brilliant in many ways. Mom went back to college after I was born and went on to get her doctorate. My parents were very involved in the civil rights movement, feminism, they were "radicals" who thought "liberal" was an insult. They both cared about our country more than almost anyone I've ever met.

This just seemed like the normal American family to me. But it seems many kids didn't grow up in this wacky, progressive, politically-infused, sexually frank, over-educated, semi-socialist stew pot. By the time I was thirteen I had met George McGovern, and Ted Kennedy. Mom had been tear-gassed. I'd met German philosopher Herbert Marcuse (his favorite American TV show was MANNIX, in case any scholars need to know!) And we have home-movies of Joan Baez. Our house was always filled with peace-niks, hippies, and lesbians.

Does anyone wonder how I wound up like this?

In 1984, just before I came-out (to both myself and the world) I was working as a Production Assistant at the Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis. One show I was assigned to was Director Peter Sellers' HANG ON TO ME - a mish-mash of Maxim Gorky's SUMMERFOLK with two dozen Gershwin songs added in. It was fabulous! It was five hours long, but it was FABULOUS! Werner Klemperer was in the cast. So now I knew him, too - but not as well as my Mom did! The Guthrie Theater had a bar for the staff and a couple times my Mom came in and had drinks with Werner. It was really interesting seeing the two of them relate, seeing a part of her youth bubble to the top as she and Werner drank and told stories.

That is now over twenty years ago. Werner Klemperer, and both of my parents, are gone. It's over fifty years since my mom and Herr Klemperer made hay in a summer-stock barn in Arden, Delaware. And I'm still using her affair with Werner Klemperer as a social introduction to make friends and break the ice.

Be careful what you tell your children!

David

When you talk about this blog later, and you will - be kind.

Copyright 2006 D. H. Maxine.
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